Rediscovering The Self

Ms. Naina Kapur, Director Sakshi as she speaks about Sakshi, her new publication Sense & Soul Workshop & her life.

March 26, 2007

When did Sakshi begin its journey?
Sakshi's journey is a constantly evolving one. Yes we initiated our work through meeting women in rural areas and then challenged women's inequality through the courts. As a lawyer I was surprised at how much decision making revolved around myths and stereotypes about women rather than their rights. So I challenged these very early on beginning with sexual assault (that was Prem Chand's case in the 1980's). My early days as a lawyer happened because I always wanted to create social change.

In 1992, Bhanwri Devi of Rajasthan was gang raped. There was pressure to file a criminal case. But my sense was that we would end up traversing the same old pattern of delays, attitudes and one woman up against an entire system. That in itself was so self-defeating irrespective of the actual outcome. So I opted to file a writ challenging the very sexual harassment that led to her gang rape as a result of indifference by the local authorities. It took five years and five volumes of research, law, and materials to put this case together. More important is that the basic content of the proposed sexual harassment law came from the Saathins of Rajasthan. The result in 1997 was Vishaka and a landmark set of binding guidelines for sexual harassment at work.

After Vishaka's case, we worked towards implementing the new law on sexual harassment. At the same time, child abuse became visible through a case we had pursued on behalf of a 6 year old. Again in 2004 after filing another test case, this resulted in child sensitive court procedures in place (Sakshi v. Union of India) .

All this became material for a more profound change that began to take place. I continued to be disturbed by the fact that women and children access a system which was largely characterized by myths and assumptions about their reality. So I approached the then Chief Justice of India requesting that we undertake a study of judicial attitudes. We did. And in 1996, we produced "Gender & Judges: A Judicial Point of View" The study revealed widespread bias and experiences of bias. At the same time it led to a two day Asia-Pacific meeting of Judges and ngos and we established an Asia Pacific Forum on Judicial Equality Education, a breakthrough partnership between judges and ngos on equality education.

A decade has passed since the landmark Vishakha's case elaborating guidelines on sexual harassment in work places. How things have changed in 2007?
Well, today we have so many more people asking us about sexual harassment. Earlier nobody knew what sexual harassment was. Today people are more interested in knowing about the issue. The point is, it's out of the closet so to speak. It is not something we can pretend doesn't exist.

You do not support further legislation for sexual harassment. Why?
I just don't believe in creating legislation after legislation. You can have the most perfect law, but if you have an attitude opposed to the issue, law doesn't help. And all our energy goes to formulating a law that few of us will understand and most of us will be unable to access. In the end someone is going to interpret that law and if it is someone with an expansive vision and courage, then anything is possible. The Sakshi case on redefining rape was a perfect example of how the mind limits us not the law- in that case one reason the judge wouldn't look at a realistic interpretation of rape was because he feared it would confuse people and create chaos. Status quo does not take kindly to change. A law should stimulate change; not be given control over it. For me to treat somebody with dignity is a question of compassion & empathy . It's not something the law can either fix or impose. Besides the law is already there in Vishaka. Take that guidance and create the motivation.

They claim that India is not ready for sex education.
Why? What's the great mystery? I'm not sure in today's world that is a very responsible claim. Sex education is simply common sense. Most are afraid to broach the issue. As a result young people are left to fend for themselves. And they are definitely fending whether we like it or not. Sexuality is natural. It's our fear around it that's unnatural. Either we are going to exclude ourselves from that reality and then face the unhealthy consequences or we get involved now and offer guidance, direction and responsibility around the issue. That means we have to be equally informed and aware. The choice is clear.

They argue that it may open the Pandora Box, leading to sex related crimes.
We all know that's simply nonsense. Denial is the best way to mislead. Kids will find another way to know- that's what they do. It's what we all did. And today it will be accessing internet, pornography, misinformation without any sense of what it is one is looking for. That is what will lead to irresponsible behaviour. Young people need to feel it is normal and acceptable. Then comes the task of building responsibility in terms of choices they make

By refusing to leave the door open for healthy curiosity, we are generating an unhealthy response. The fear of HIV has simply compounded an image of all things sexual as negative. When you generate a program around something negative, you stimulate negative responses.

The opponents further argue that West has not gained anything from sex education.
I don't think we are talking about east and west. We are talking about what is best for our kids. Information, healthy interaction, a natural approach and creating responsible choices- all that is a gain.

Wouldn't it lead to sexual experimentation, leading to total decay?
It's happening already. And it's happening in the wrong way. Do you think our kids aren't aware of sex? Of course they are. Sex education is about making them responsible about decisions the take and information they receive. That is what our handbook "Sense & Soul" seeks to do. There is no proof that teaching sex promotes sexual deviancy. In fact studies show the opposite. All we need today is healthy information.

I believe, that's the essence of Sense & Soul Workshop, your recent publication.
Yes. It's combining body, mind & soul to become a complete person. That's how we approach sexuality. It's about how you reflect when faced with certain choices in your life. For me sexuality is about my spirit as much as it is about my body. It is about the power I give to that spirit when I have to make life choices and the reasons I make those choices. So for example, most women don't look at their bodies in the mirror. That denial has only served to promote shame and guilt around the female form. How can that possibly lead to healthy choices. When we make a choice to know ourselves, to know who we are and what makes us, we become informed, healthy and complete as sexual beings.

Please share the finer points of this publication.
The handbook is a collation of the experiential learning around sexuality we have done over time. It has three sections- Denial, The Journey or Transition and Acceptance. Each section, explores the reality of sexuality- our fears, apprehensions and offers exercises to address some of these issues. In addition we have shared the voices of those who have been through the workshops and my own reflections about a particular issue or focus. Our attempt has been to link sexuality with the whole of me, rather than as one aspect of me.

The package includes a series of one minute films which can be used to stimulate discussions around different aspects raised in the handbook- eg. Menopause, the Power of No, Having Fun, Vagina Monologues…. This is accompanied by a facilitators guide on how to use the films in a workshop process. Finally we have included a film directed and scripted by us called "mirror, mirror on the wall… who am I after all?" which is based on the experiences of one school in Ghaziabad which carried out this workshop over a year with students, teachers and parents. The film is a positive portrayal responsible sexuality education and its impact. We made it upbeat and fun so that young people can watch it and parents can join them.

What has been the response to it?
Great. People love it. It's creatively done. It makes the topic approachable and holistic. We do not address the clinical aspects of sex because that information is already available everywhere. Our focus is on how to integrate my sexuality into my life, my language, my interactions & my self. In essence it's about responding to a fundamental question- "Who am I?"

Your programs may begin with sexuality but it touches entire sphere of human life. It is not limited to sexuality.
And that really is true of all we do. For example, we deliver a self-development and leadership program outbound for college students (presently for law and social work) in which they are also oriented around how to integrate core values into their life. They are presented with fundamental questions such as What informs the choices they make- faith or fear? How does that choice impact others? What kind of person does it make them? The workshop design is based on my experience and understanding of "The Matrix" (movie) and Paulo Coelho's "Pilgrimmage". Both these works left a deep impression on me many years back. The workshop is a holistic approach to self-development which doesn't limit itself to one aspect but how an aspect fits into the whole of the person. We teach students the value of awareness, intuition, informed choice, compassion and wisdom. These are values they are not taught in schools and that to me is a missing piece in their lives.

What is the transformation game?
In 2004, I was searching the net about leadership and spirituality & I came across this process of transformation game which was going to take place in Holland. I eventually played the game over five days & it was fantastic. It focused on what deeply concerned me in my life then. I was at a cross-roads and needed to change paths let's say.

I returned later to become an accredited game facilitator and am the only trained facilitator in India. The game enables people focus on particular area of their life and address it through the game processes at the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels. It provides insights about truths you may need to know about yourself, hidden strengths, and patterns of behaviour which set you back and may need to change. The process is offers insightful feedback and helps chalk out next steps to fulfill the purpose you chose to focus on.

How it helped you?
It changed me. It changed my attitude. I stopped practicing law. After that. I focused on teaching in creative ways so that learning becomes accessible when we look at challenging subjects – like sexuality, rights, leadership. I also work actively with the game in assisting people with through a very focused self-development process. I was an activist earlier & that was my obstacle. When I released the idea of being an activist, a lawyer or any other label, I could change tracks. I become more open and receptive to change and that reflects in much of the work I now do.

I offer this game to people to share the possibility of focusing on themselves and life changes they may need to address.

Can you share some real instance of change?
Well, many people want to shift from their present to another profession but they are not able to make a commitment. I have seen them shift from no commitment to commitment zones.

Or someone has lost a love one and needs to address grief as their operating point. Take the case of a man who gets up in the morning & gets irritated with his children or is unable to cope up with his parents; there are several instances that Transformation Game has changed the attitude of such persons. Usually it is about people wanting to make a change- within and without.

That's a big change.
If you can't change anything else, change your attitude, how you are in relation to your world and others.

On an ending note, tell us three milestones of Sakshi.
Sakshi has evolved with time. And with it, so have I. Milestones for me used to be external- working with rurual women, the test cse work or the outbound adventure workshops. Until I discovered the only milestones have been around my own spiritual growth, which is intrinsically linked with changes I have experienced through Sakshi and beyond Sakshi. The most valuable milestone has been the one that always reads- move on…..

What's your agenda for next two years?
My agenda is always to keep aware of myself & my actions- in turn I know that facilitates outer movement and change- that which benefits others. It's a beautiful life. And each moment is one which simply invites growth- within me and beyond me.

- Ashutosh Bhardwaj
IndianNGOs.com